Wow, summer hasn't even really started and it already feels like it is half way gone. I can't believe how quickly any hope of free time disappears once the weather warms up. Since I last posted an update I have been fairly productive and had a bit of fun.
The weekend after my last final I took a much needed break and went out to Bismarck, ND to visit some friends and confirmed what I have long suspected about the Midwest: the news has not reached them that the American colonies have made it and we are no longer at risk of being wiped out as a people. The Midwest is continuing to make babies as if America's last stand is approaching and we need to build a new army.
Dear Midwest,
We made it. Thanks for all your support in repopulating our nation over the past century. Now that we have a formalized government structure, electricity, running water, heat, etc... the threat is over. We no longer need to focus all of our resources into reproducing for fear that the next winter may wipe us out. Please feel free to dial it back a bit and consider focusing on things like acceptance of non-white races, cultural enrichment, and basic political education. I fear that we may have missed you in our original mailing in 1908. Our apologies for this misstep.
Lastly, we just wanted to let you know that Obama is not going to come and take any of your guns or ammo. So you don't need to spend all of your life savings on arming yourselves to the teeth. We heard there was concern about this and just wanted to set the record straight.
Sincerely,
The East Coast
That being said, all of my friends' kids are freaking adorable, and I totally get it. It's pretty wild to see your hoodlum college friends turn into responsible adult parents. I never would have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. Frankly, I didn't even think it was legal for people like Clif and Jeff to reproduce... Playing with all those babies did make me feel a bit older than I'd like to. I look forward to taking that adventure in the not too distant future, but not this week.
Clif, Jeff, Dave, Tim, Rachel, Bella, if any of you guys are reading this, thanks again for an awesome long weekend. It was great to see all of you, and the next time we get together better be sooner than in 7 years.
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